Moments after becoming a mother 13 years ago I felt shame, guilt and fear like never before. My baby boy was healthy, but I instantly felt that I could never give him everything that he needed to live a life without pain. I was determined (and biologically motivated) to protect him no matter what, but everything I did felt like it was not be enough. I threw myself in to books, advice blogs and talked to friends with kids. I thought there was an answer out there and I just needed to find it. I was wrong! The answer was inside me all along. I was enough as I was, but could not feel it.
Last year I was struck by an incident with a mom and her child on the subway that reminded me of what I needed back in those newborn days.
While the moment passed quickly I was moved to write a “note” to her after.
Dear Mother of Screaming Child in Subway Station This Morning,
I feel your pain. I know how hard it is to struggle to get your kid to do something they don’t want to do. As everyone looked over at you their thoughts might have been on what you SHOULD be doing, but I am here to say. Great work! Great job doing the most challenging job we are asked to do-balance our needs and our kids needs. You are doing great. Her screeching is no indication of your worth, your abilities or your love. Give yourself a hug! You got this!
Love,
Another mother who knows we need hugs!
I can only imagine how I would have felt if when I had a newborn instead of advice I simply got a hug and the reassuring words “you got this!”
We all need to be encouraged and hugged.
Who in your life needs a hug and encouragement today?
Please reach out to them and give them a virtual or real hug. We all need each other.
Photo by Jenna Norman from Unsplash
